I think my vagina is haunted
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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