I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
