after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
