No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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