That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
He? As in you personified your dick?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
