I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
