I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Randomize
