it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
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