So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
where are my eyebrows?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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