Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
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