That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
