Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
