Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
