Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Randomize