She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
