Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
dude. I can hear the air.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
