Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
