just tell him i said nine months
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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