So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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