Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
