I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
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