Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
