He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
