Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
