Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
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