Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
