No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
