He is such a slut. More and more my type.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Randomize
