It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
His nipple licking is glorious
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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