He had one of those small greek statue penises
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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