just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
