Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
