she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
She's not a foreskin expert like you
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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