If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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