i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Randomize
