YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
