I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
