I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I know her cup size but not her name....
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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