It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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