And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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