No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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