Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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