The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize