If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
