A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
As shirtless as possible
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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