He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
