His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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