And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
