I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
