Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
