he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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