i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
