So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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