I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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