I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
