just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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