Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
