Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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