Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
This house was built for laser tag.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
