i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
