hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
